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Resolving a school conflict

  • Sep 10, 2013
  • 2 min read

After two boys get into a fight at school, a juvenile counselor sends them to mediation to try to settle their differences. Here’s what happened.

Time to stop fighting and start listening

The mediators resorted to chitchat, hoping to reduce the obvious tension between the two adolescent boys in the room. Neither boy was very talkative. Their opening stories were brief and presented in a matter-of-fact fashion. Yes, they had gotten into a physical fight on school grounds—no big deal—it would never happen again. Neither kid wanted much to do with the other, nor did they want to be involved in the mediation process. If they could just sign some papers and leave, they could get on with their separate lives, and life would be just fine.

Patient discussion reveals underlying issues

The mediators slowly teased out the boys’ story, revealing some powerful underlying issues steeped in distrust and misunderstanding. The conflict between the two of them was intense and longstanding. One of the boys was a “popular” kid, the other an “outcast.” These distinct worlds in their school community created a powerful division between the two boys.

Breaking down barriers

One of the mediators asked the outcast, “Just suppose one day you woke up and went to school, and low and behold when you got there you discovered that you had suddenly become THE most popular kid in the entire school. How would that be for you?” The boy’s response was completely unexpected. He shook his head and vehemently replied, “Well, I’d have to kill myself.”

Although the outcast claimed to “hate” the popular crowd, gentle exploration revealed that he actually had compassion for the considerable obstacles the popular kids faced at school every day. He had insight into the complicated relationship dynamics that constantly challenged the popular kids’ self-esteem. Once the communication dam broke, both boys poured out their frustrations. After the emotions had cleared, the outcast took a deep breath, looked his nemesis in the eye, and exclaimed, “Wow! I don’t think anyone has ever understood me as much as you do right now.”

A difference-making agreement

With the help of their mediators, the boys worked together to construct an agreement establishing not only the parameters of how to deal with one another in the future, but also how to approach and resolve the conflicts they faced in their daily lives. One of their most important resolutions was an agreement to be emotional support systems for one another during difficult times. The boys left the mediation session laughing and chatting.

Mediation can help build stronger relationships

Just like the boys in the situation above, mediation can help you build stronger relationships based on authentic communication. Contact your local DRC today.

10 Comments


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Kohli King77
7 days ago

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Stive Joy
Stive Joy
Jul 02

I liked the point about slowing things down and giving each student a chance to explain their side before trying to fix the problem. School conflicts often get worse when nobody feels heard. Reading this also made me think about how communication skills carry into adult life. I recently came across discussions on Ghostwriting Services and even New Assignment Help, and it struck me that clear understanding matters in every setting. A neutral approach seemed especially practical here. I do wonder how many schools actually teach these conflict-resolution skills consistently.

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Adam Smith
Adam Smith
Jun 15

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Stive Joy
Stive Joy
Jun 09

I thought the part about students feeling unheard during school conflicts was especially important because that often seems to make situations worse before they improve. The article explained the value of calm communication and mediation in a really practical way instead of making it sound overly formal. It also made me think about how conflict resolution skills probably help far beyond school environments. While reading, I was actually searching through some study resources from New Assignment Help Australia and came across AutoCAD Assignment Help, which oddly connected with the article’s point about reducing pressure before misunderstandings grow bigger.

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